A Fantasy Football Lament
Trust not your game to a fumbling fool
Nor to a defense slipping in its drool.
Fear the Manning who never loses his cool
And rips off your shivering, quivering tool.
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Ass Rape
Ass rapes, ass rapes, everywhere:
Three weeks in a row, they're on a tear.
There's a big pool of blood beneath my chair,
I'll never get the stains out of my underwear.
Upon my skinny ass I must now write
But it's too small and far too white.
My camera's now broken, dead of fright
And I, I am blinded by the light.
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Fuck You Peyton Manning
Fuck you Peyton Manning,
In football you do too well.
Switch to fruit canning
Or better yet go to Hell
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A Jeer for Clinton Portis
Redskins, Deadskins, sucking on foreskins
Clinton Portis, rigor mortis
Bumble, stumble, the fucker did fumble
Not once but twice.
Bruised shins, blue shins, bad as the Dolphins
Mumble, grumble, the fucker did crumble
I'd rather have lice. |