Note: The glue-sniffing goats at Yahoo! often "adjust" scores as much as 72 hours after the games have ended. This may affect reported results.
Welching Weasel (aka Delinquent Dickhead) Awards:
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Week 14 Awards
Swinging Strap on: DDD scored 133 points and in the process made an amazing comeback and defeated Rainy.
Wuss: Slash scored a miserable 73 points, icing his position as lowest of the low.
Ass Kicker: DJ Chris dealt NorCalJohn a 38-point loss.
Bitch Slapped: NorCalJohn. Look at the bright side: You aren't Slash...(Unchanged from last week...)
Week 13 Awards
Swinging Dick: Gary the Doorman scored 121 points. Wuss one week and Swinging Dick the next.
Wuss: NorcalJohn scored only 73 points. Several teams' bench scored more than that...
Ass Kicker: Gary the Doorman smacked NorCalJohn with a 48 point loss.
Bitch Slapped: NorCalJohn. Look at the bright side: You aren't Slash...
Week 12 Awards
Swinging Strap-on: DDD got back on track with 145 points.
Wuss: Gary the Doorman scored only 88 points.
Ass Kicker: DDD kicked down DJ Chris by 32 points.
Bitch Slapped: DJ Chris lost by 32 points even though he scored 113.
Week 11 Awards
Swinging Dick: For the 2nd consecutive week DJ Chris wins this award albeit with only 113 points.
Wuss: Slash scored only 58 points. Dude, are you trying to set a fantasy football record for fewest points?
Ass Kicker: Azrael kicked Rain's sweet ass by 52 points.
Bitch Slapped: Poor little Tender Buns got her ass slapped hard with a 52 point loss.
Week 10 Awards
Swinging Dick: DJ Chris scored 129 points. (The dude was the wuss last week. Great fuckin' turn around!).
Wuss: Slash scored 87 points. (Did his team show up?)
Ass Kicker: Gary the Doorman beat DDD by 15 points. Not much of an ass kicking.
Bitch Slapped: DDD lost by 15 points. Rules are rules but
this barely qualifies.
Fucked by the Fickle Finger of Fate: Az scored the 2nd most points, 117, but
lost to DJ Chris.
Week 9 Awards
Swinging Dick: Az scored 145 points.
Wuss: DJ Chris eked out 74 points, barely beating out Slash for this award.
Ass Kicker: DDD kicked NorCalJohn's butt by 42 points.
Bitch Slapped: NorCalJohn was the recipient of an old-fashioned butt-whooping courtesy of DDD to the tune of 42 points.
Skin of Yer Teeth: Slash beat DJ Chris by only 2 points.
Close But No Cigar: DJ Chris lost by only 2 points.
Week 8 Awards
Swinging Dick (or is that Swinging Strap-on?): HH Bomb's (formerly known as DDD) 158 points were the highest score of the season and got her within 15 points of tying Batman for the lead.
Wuss: Rain scored a scary-low 61 points. Welcome to the deepest, darkest pits.
Ass Kicker: Batman won by 63 points. Bats and HH Bomb have each won this award 3 times so far.
Bitch Slapped: DJ Chris. A 63-point ass pounding is worse than just a bitch slap....
Week 7 Awards
Swinging Dick: Batman scored 150 points, the highest total of the season.
Wuss: NorCalJohn scored 85 points and takes over sole possession of dead last.
Ass Kicker: Batman won by 41 points.
Bitch Slapped: Gary the Doorman got his ass beat by 41 points.
Week 6 Awards
Swinging Dick: Azrael scored 140 points.
Wuss: Slash scored 63 points. A turnip could do better...
Ass Kicker: DDD won by 44 points.
Bitch Slapped: Slash got crushed by 44 points. Get used to it, dude.
Skin of Yer Teeth: Gary the Doorman won by 1 point. That's the closet margin of any game of the season.
Close But No Cigar: NorCalJohn lost by 1 point. That's gotta hurt.
Ad Hoc:
Ass Raped With No Lube: NorCalJohn. The Bears did a real number on your ass. Something like 18 inches....
Week 5 Awards
Swinging Dick: DJ Chris scored 127 points.
Wuss: Slash scored an amazingly small 57 points.
Ass Kicker: Batman won by 50 points.
Bitch Slapped: Slash lost by 57 points. Welcome to the cellar, dude.
Ad Hoc:
King, er, Queen Slayer: DJ Chris, in last place, beat previously undefeated DDD and jumped up to 5th place.
Week 4 Awards
Swinging Dick: Gary, who scored 120 points.
Wuss: DJ Chris, again, who scored a measly 75 points.
Ass Kicker: Gary, who won by 45 points.
Bitch Slapped: DJ Chris, who lost by 45 points (Do ya see a pattern here?).
Week 3 Awards
Swinging Dick: Azrael (This is the only way he could have one...)
Wuss: DJ Chris (SOB!) beat out Rainy for this award by only 1 point.
Ass Kicker: Azrael. His 146 points almost doubled his point total from the previous two games.
Bitch Slapped: DJ Chris, who lost by a staggering 73 points - and he only scored 71.
Skin of Yer Teeth: DDD, who won by 4 points.
Close But No Cigar: Gary the Doorman, who lost by 4 points.
Week 2 Awards
Swinging Dick: Batman, who scored 124 points.
Wuss: Slash, who scored 78 points (it might help if ya don't leave positions empty!)
Ass Kicker: DDD, again, who won by 24 points.
Bitch Slapped: NorCalJohn, defeated by 24 points.
Skin of Yer Teeth: Batman, who won by only 3 points.
Close But No Cigar: Rain, who lost by 3 points (Didn't Rain win by 3 last week...?)
Ad hoc award:
Pull Yer Head Outta the Puke Bucket: Slash, who left one position unfilled and didn't notice that two of his starters weren't even gonna play.
Week 1 Awards
Swinging Dick: DDD, who scored an amazing 136 points.
Wuss: Max_Payne (somebody tell me who that is) who scored a paltry 59 points.
Ass Kicker: DDD, who won by 62 points (Dayum!).
Bitch Slapped: Azrael (better luck next time, dude).**
Skin of Yer Teeth: Rain, who won by only 3 points.
Close But No Cigar: NorCalJohn. (So close....).
Ad hoc award:
EAT MY DUST, SUCKAHS!: DDD, for winning the two best awards.
** (There's a pool of blood
Beneath my wheelchair.
I'm slippin' and slidin',
Can't go nowhere...)