Note: The glue-sniffing goats at Yahoo! often "adjust" scores as much as 72 hours after the games have ended. This may affect reported results.
Week 14 Awards
Chicken Shit: Suspended for lack
of interest.
Ass Kicker: Orton Sucks stomped all over the most beat-up pussies in the
league
Bitch Slapped: That would be the Surrender Monkeys who tried their best
to at least tie Rainy in the number of times getting this award slapped on him.
Swinging Dick: Rectal Destroyers 5 got this one yet again, again, again,
skip, again, skip, again, skip, again....
Wuss: This one was a tie between Yogurt Munchers and weav66, who scored a
god-awful 75 points each.
Good luck in the play offs, y'all! (even you, norcaljohn)
Week 13 Awards
Chicken Shit: Suspended for lack of
interest
Ass Kicker: McDahmer stomped all over the FlamingO's, winning by 36
points.
Bitch Slapped: The FlamingO's set a league record by claiming this
dubious prize four times in one season.
Swinging Dick: Rectal Destroyers 5 obliterated the record books by taking
this award for the sixth time in one season.
Wuss: Orton Sucks (Keith) barely squeezed out 82 points and thus lost to
the team with the second-lowest score.
Week 12 Awards
Chicken Shit: Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!
Ass Kicker: Rectal Destroyers 5 stomped the Yogurt Munchers by 65 points.
Bitch Slapped: Yogurt Munchers; Oh yeah!
Bitch Slapped and clinched dead last at the same time. Awesome, dude!
Swinging Dick: Rectal Destroyers 5 are swinging low again.
Wuss: I Still Hate Favre barely managed to get within sniffing distance
of 100 points.
Skin of Yer Teeth: Wingnuts defeated the Surrender Monkeys by 9 points.
Close But No Cigar: Goddamnit! That's TWICE you've done that to me!
Congrats to Rectal Destroyers 5, weav66, Wingnuts and Jewey Jewsteins for
clinching the playoffs. This is the first time all four positions had been
claimed so early.
Week 11 Awards
Chicken Shit: Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!
Ass Kicker: McDahmer' 37-point victory over I Still Hate Favre was one of
the narrowest Ass Kicker margins this season.
Bitch Slapped: I Still Hate Favre got the just reward all Favre haters
should get.
Swinging Dick: Rectal Destroyers 5 racked up 159 points,
highest score by nine points.
Wuss: Yid's Bitches, formerly Bookies Bitches, brought up the rear of the
pack with a pathetic score of 93 points.
Skin of Yer Teeth: Rectal Destroyers 5 narrowly defeated Wingnuts
156-150.
Close But No Cigar: Ouch, hurts don't it? Now you know how I felt in Week
three.
Fucked by the Fickle Finger of Fate: Wingnuts had the second-highest
score of the week - tied with McDahmer for that spot - but had the misfortune of
playing the highest-scoring team, Rectal Destroyers 5. This was only the fifth
'Fickle' in league history and the first time there were two in the same season.
Anybody else notice that three of the last four league champions had Peyton
Manning at QB? Could it be that the season ended on draft day? We'll know in a
few weeks...
Week 10 Awards
Chicken Shit: Ah, fuck it!
Ass Kicker: This time it was the Rectal Destroyers 5's turn to slap a
mushroom shaped bruise on the FlamingO's forehead, winning by 46 points.
Bitch Slapped: At this rate, that bruise may never go away from Rain's
forehead.
Swinging Dick: The Bookies Bitches piled up 185 points.
Wuss: The Surrender Monkeys scored a meager 72, courtesy of a pussy wide
receiver and pussier kicker getting hurt, a tight end who was too busy playing
with himself and a quarterback who was too busy sucking dick to throw the
football against the 6th worst pass defense in the NFL. On top all that, the
FlamingO's had four players on bye and one on IR and still scored 26 more
points. Thus ends this week's episode of the Frail and the Faggots.
Fucked by the Fickle Finger of Fate: The Yogurt Munchers had the
second-highest score of the week - and their best of the season - but had the
misfortune of playing the highest-scoring team, the Bookies Bitches.
Week 9 Awards
Chicken Shit: Rectal Destroyers 5 (Norcaljonh),
Bookies Bitches (Keith), I Still Hate Favre (Dhmn, Yogurt Munchers (LDave),
McDahmer
Ass Kicker: Wingnuts mushroom slapped the FlamingO's by 79 points.
Honorable mention: I Still hate Favre stomped the Yogurt Munchers by 74
points.
Bitch Slapped: Once again Rain has a mushroom shaped bruise on her
forehead.
Swinging Dick: The Wingnuts racked up 170 points, easily bettering the
2nd place team (I Still Hate Favre, 147 points).
Wuss: The Yogurt Munchers were Wussed for the 2nd consecutive week. How's
that Fantasy Tiddly-winks going, Dave?
Skin of Yer Teeth: The Surrender Monkeys forgot what they were doing and
won a game! But only by three points.
Close But No Cigar: Az, I know you love monkey dick so stop complaining.
Week 8 Awards
Chicken Shit: Surrender Monkeys (Carb),
Rectal Destroyers 5 (Norcaljohn), I Still Hate Favre (Dhmn)
Ass Kicker: The Surrender Monkeys beat the Yogurt Slingers by 37 points.
Bitch Slapped: Maybe the Yogurt Slingers shouldn't have been aiming at
their own face.
Swinging Dick: Once again Rainy gets that Swinging Dick she's always
wanted.
Wuss: Wussed and Ass Kicked in the same week - maybe the Yogurt Munchers
should take up Fantasy Cross-stitch.
Skin of Yer Teeth: Rectal Destroyers narrowly defeated I Still Hate Favre
by 6 points.
Close But No Cigar: At least you still have your hate for Favre, Dhmn.
Week 7 Awards
Chicken Shit: Surrender Monkeys (Carb),
McDahmer, Jewey Jewsteins (Azrael)
Ass Kicker: The Jewey Jewsteins take this award for the second
consecutive week by defeating McDahmer by 34 points.
Bitch Slapped: Face it, Dahmer, you had it coming.
Swinging Dick: The Jewey Jewsteins get this one, too.
Wuss: The FlamingO's 112 points were the highest low-score of the season.
Skin of Yer Teeth: The Surrender Monkeys won by 2 points and a bloody
miracle.
Close But No Cigar: Life's a bitch, Norcal - and then you get fucked by
monkeys.
Ad Hoc:
Fuck This Shit Award: Bookies Bitches and Wingnuts, whose game ended in a
tie. It's perfectly fitting that the guys with the gayest bet ever in league
history end up kissing their sisters.
Week 6 Awards
Chicken Shit: I Still Hate Favre (Dhmn),
Bookies Bitches (Keith), RicePudding Slingers (LDave) and McDahmer
Ass Kicker: The Jewey Jewsteins beat the Wingnuts by 42 points and
vaulted into first place.
Bitch Slapped: The Wingnuts' first loss was a stinker.
Swinging Dick: The Rectal Destroyers 5 led the league with 146 points.
Wuss: The Surrender Monkeys were Wussed again because a faggot QB got
hurt on the second possession of the first quarter.
Skin of Yer Teeth: The Bookies Bitches scored the closest victory in
years, winning by only one point.
Close But No Cigar: Sonofabitch! That must hurt, Dhmn.
Week 5 Awards
Chicken Shit: Rectal Destroyers 5 (norcaljohn),
the Jewy Jewsteins (Azrael), McDahmer and Sparky's Teabaggers (LDave)
Ass Kicker: The Knuckle Draggers trounced the Sissy Boys by an incredible
98 points - the most ever over a team that actually had all eleven in play.
Bitch Slapped: That would be the above mentioned Sissy Boys.
Swinging Dick: The Knuckle Draggers rocked the league with 166 points.
Wuss: The Sissy Boys are the third team to be Wussed and Bitch
Slapped the same week.
Skin of Yer Teeth: Weav66 beat the FlamingO's by only 5 points.
Close But No Cigar: Tough luck, Rain.
Anybody else notice that the FlamingO's have scored 666 points?
Week 4 Awards
Chicken Shit: Rectal Destroyers
5 (norcaljohn) and the Jewey Jewsteins (Azrael)
Ass Kicker: Rectal Destroyers 5 rolled
over the Jewey Jewsteins by 51 points.
Bitch Slapped: Ass Kicker one week, Bitch Slapped the next. Don't slip on the
pool of blood beneath your chair, Az.
Swinging Dick: Rectal Destroyers 5's 154 points were easily the most scored by
any team.
Wuss: The Dingleberry Munchers, formerly the Effin Underachievers, scored the
fewest points. Serves me right for starting that dog-killer asshole.
Week 3 Awards
Chicken Shit: Rectal Destroyers 5 (Norcaljohn),
RicePudding Slingers (LDave), McDahmer (Dahmer, duh!) and The Rolling Donuts
(Keith)
Ass Kicker: The Rolling Donuts rolled over McDahmer, winning by 48
points.
Bitch Slapped: And now it's Dahmer's turn to get his ass whipped.
Swinging Dick: RainysBitch racked up 183 points and jumped out of the
bottom three.
Wuss: For the second consecutive week, somebody got Bitch Slapped and
Wussed. This time it was Dahmer, whose wiener team scored only 90 points.
Skin of Yer Teeth: Wingnuts
defeated The Effing Underachievers by 7 points.
Close But No Cigar: The Effing Underachievers once again lived up to
their name. Can I replace them with Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders?
Week 2 Awards:
Chicken Shit: Everybody
except Carb and weav
Ass Kicker: The FamingO's stomped the
RicePudding Slingers so badly - by 93 points - that there shall be no more
slinging of pudding or anything else from that merry band of losers.
Bitch Slapped: That 93-point whoopin' LDave got is
one of the worst in league history - and that includes the year Rebecca Love
didn't play her team at all.
Swinging Dick: The Jewey Jewsteins racked up 178
points, enough to take the league lead.
Wuss: Bitch Slapped and Wussed in the same week:
Ouch, Dave. Too bad ya couldn't get any help from HAL.
King Killer: Wingnuts made a chimp of the defending
champ, Rectal Destroyers 5, by a score of 133-122.
Week 1 Awards
Chicken Shit: The Rolling Donuts (Keith), I Still Hate Favre (Dhmn), Jewey Jewsteins (Azrael), and Rice Pudding Slingers (LDave).
Ass Kicker: Rectal
Destroyers 5 had his way with the FlamingO's, winning by 50 points.
Bitch Slapped: So, just what do you think about
that mushroom-shaped bruise on yer forehead, Rain?
Swinging Dick: Rectal Destroyers 5 racked up
163 points.
Wuss: McDahmer's pathetic performance gained
him a paltry 86 points.
Skin of Yer Teeth: the Wingnuts narrowly
defeated Weav66 by 7 points
Close But No Cigar: Obviously that would be
Weav66.